I love Heather. I love blogging.

This is exactly why I love blogging. My friend, Heather, posted this beautiful commercial on her blog yesterday, and it completely shifted my trajectory--nudged me back toward sanity. (Notice I did say 'toward' not 'into.') I've been in TV's worst kind of rut lately. I've been using Friends reruns, Medium, American Idol . . . ad nauseum to hide out from the pain of my grief over Gavin's death. Not that a little break from my constant, aching loneliness isn't a good thing. But drowning myself in mindless televised drivel is a completely different ball game, and Heather's post reminded me of this.

I have two Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppies. They're brother and sister and have been together constantly from birth. Today, Lily, the little girl, has gone in to get spayed. Dublin misses her desperately. He looks for her everywhere. He can't seem to get settled, to find a comfortable position. He just wants his sister. Boy oh boy, can I relate. So, I've been giving him little breaks from missing her. I hold him in my lap, I give him carrots to chew, or a favorite bone. These are all healthy breaks. Because I feel so sorry for him, I could be feeding him bacon and beer and letting him chew the furniture, but because I also love him, I'm looking out for him and soothing him through his sadness in ways that nurture his well being and keep my furniture intact.

In a world where we're all facing at least some level of daily pain, struggle or loss, blogging acts as a kind of gigantic group therapy--a healthy way to nurture ourselves through life's grind. We talk about what we're up to, what we're worrying about, what's giving us a little joy here and there, what's getting us out of bed every morning. Last night, Heather's post reminded me that there's a better way to soothe my sorrow over my buddy's absence. She reminded me that the world is a beautiful place: wonderful and strange and thrilling and zany. Maybe I don't yet have the strength to go out into it and take it on face to face, but the least I can do for my aching heart is to stop feeding it bacon and beer TV. It may just be a baby step, but I'm going to remember to change the channel once in a while. Right after Friends.


shelly said...

Your heart speaks directly to my heart -- what an incredible way you have of expressing yourself, Annie. I relate, and accept.

The first time I watched the commercial I felt a need to THANK the creative mind that put the whole thing together. I still do. I wonder how many other people felt a renewal of what's important when they saw that? Thank you, Heather, and Annie, for taking notice of these things, and for sharing!

Heather said...

I think I've watched that commercial about 16 times since I posted it last night. I can't get enough. It makes me so happy and reminds me that there are good people in the world and wonderful creations to appreciate. I'm glad you enjoyed my post, Annie! I love you! Keep feeding Dublin carrots. It's Wanda's favorite vegetable, and I don't feel guilty giving some to her because they're good for people, so they must be great for dogs too, right?

Jocelin said...

So I know your point is to get away from watching mindless TV, but I do a lot of TV watching (mostly listening) while I edit pictures for clients, I'm a photographer, anyway I've watched a lot of TV lately and one uplifted good show I've found is Eli Stone. I think you can catch up on the episodes on abc.com. I gave up on Lost and started watching Eli Stone because I like feeling good after I watch a show...I don't know you at all but I cry everytime you post anything about your son, I'm so sorry for your loss. Jocelin

Jocelin said...

So for some reason now the episodes of Eli Stone are removed from abc...hmm they were there a couple of days ago..I hope they didn't cancel it!! Anyway thanks for your nice thoughts on my blog! Jocelin