This is exactly why I love blogging. My friend, Heather, posted this beautiful commercial on her blog yesterday, and it completely shifted my trajectory--nudged me back toward sanity. (Notice I did say 'toward' not 'into.') I've been in TV's worst kind of rut lately. I've been using Friends reruns, Medium, American Idol . . . ad nauseum to hide out from the pain of my grief over Gavin's death. Not that a little break from my constant, aching loneliness isn't a good thing. But drowning myself in mindless televised drivel is a completely different ball game, and Heather's post reminded me of this.
I have two Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppies. They're brother and sister and have been together constantly from birth. Today, Lily, the little girl, has gone in to get spayed. Dublin misses her desperately. He looks for her everywhere. He can't seem to get settled, to find a comfortable position. He just wants his sister. Boy oh boy, can I relate. So, I've been giving him little breaks from missing her. I hold him in my lap, I give him carrots to chew, or a favorite bone. These are all healthy breaks. Because I feel so sorry for him, I could be feeding him bacon and beer and letting him chew the furniture, but because I also love him, I'm looking out for him and soothing him through his sadness in ways that nurture his well being and keep my furniture intact.
In a world where we're all facing at least some level of daily pain, struggle or loss, blogging acts as a kind of gigantic group therapy--a healthy way to nurture ourselves through life's grind. We talk about what we're up to, what we're worrying about, what's giving us a little joy here and there, what's getting us out of bed every morning. Last night, Heather's post reminded me that there's a better way to soothe my sorrow over my buddy's absence. She reminded me that the world is a beautiful place: wonderful and strange and thrilling and zany. Maybe I don't yet have the strength to go out into it and take it on face to face, but the least I can do for my aching heart is to stop feeding it bacon and beer TV. It may just be a baby step, but I'm going to remember to change the channel once in a while. Right after Friends.