I know, I suck at blogging. But, we've been away again. Greg and I just got back from Vail where we got to play for a few days with some of our very favorite friends. It's a group called the Transformational Leadership Council (TLC) whose members are each involved in work that in some way contributes to the growth and well being of humankind and the planet. These are all folks with some truly kick-butt goals who are daily making huge contributions to back up their talk. Every six months we get together for a few days to network, share what we've been learning, and play. Too, too fun.  I have to pinch myself.

Anyway, because I love you, and because you are always so patient with my absences (yeah, I know, you get over it pretty dern quick), I want to share something I picked up last week.  And no Natalie, it's not some strange virus. It's a very simple and amazingly effective breathing technique for handling unwanted emotional states. It was developed by the good people at the Institute of HeartMath. Whozzat, you say? I'll answer from their website: IHM is a recognized, global leader in emotional physiology, stress management and the physiology of heart-brain research. Fancy schmancy, no? I first heard of them years ago in an interview they did on NPR--and was beyond jazzed to meet them at TLC last summer. Their research center is engaged in basic psychophysiology, neurocardiology and biophysics research, and in clinical, workplace and organizational intervention and treatment outcome studies--and not just off in some dusty, dark rent-a-lab all by themselves--IHM works in collaboration with numerous university and health care system partners. In other words, these aren't just a couple of whackos in a diner, they are the gen-you-ine article.  So, now that I've blathered a bit, here's the breathing technique. HeartMath calls it Emotion Shifting with Attitude Breathing.

• Step 1.  Recognize an unwanted attitude: an emotion or attitude that is draining your energy, such as frustration, impatience, anger, anxiety, overwhelm, angst, self-judgement, blame, guilt, sadness--anything that's distressing.
• Identify a replacement attitude, such as neutral, balance, calm, ease, peace, forgiveness, appreciation, compassion, non-judgement.  Below are some examples of negative attitudes and their possible replacement feelings/attitudes. Remember to listen to your own inner knowing, you'll more likely find the optimum replacement feeling there.

Examples:

Stress/Frustration:  Breathe "neutral to calm and revitalize"

Anxiety/Impatience: Breathe "calm and balance"

Overwhelm/Angst: Breathe "ease and peace"

Sadness/Self-Judgment:  Breathe "appreciation and non-judgment" 

 Blame or Guilt: Breathe "compassion and non-judgment"

Now, here's how you're going to breathe.  Imagine that your breath is going to by-pass your nose and windpipe.  Imagine that your nostrils are at your heart and breathe through your heart.  Take several breaths this way, breathing with intention from your heart area, visualizing the air flowing in and out directly through your heart.  You don't need to monitor the depth or pace of your breathing, this will happen naturally as you keep your focus on breathing from and through your heart.

After you've practiced focusing your breath in this way for a minute or two, bring up the negative emotion you've been experiencing and consciously, with each breath, breathe in the replacement feeling you've chosen--as outlined above in Steps 1 - 3. 

Give this a try.  Seriously, you're going to love it.  It's simple, you can use it anytime and anywhere, and if you'll discipline yourself to work with it whenever you're stressed, you'll gain facility with it and find yourself walking around like a Jedi master.

By now, if you're one of my blog followers, you've probably noticed the synchronicity of my experience this week with my blog post from last week . . . right down to the language I used in that post.  Now, ain't that something?  Do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do. (Cue Twilight Zone music here.)  We'll have to chat about that another day.  

'Till then, keep breathing.  And remember how much I love you.

"Breathe" poster designed by Matt Willey of Studio8 Design.  Purchase at Magma.com.

All you need is love

Gavin and I met this peaceful vision of a soul amid the ruins in the main temple at Angkor Wat, Seim Reap, Cambodia. It was June of 2005, just 2 years before his death. We were awed by her pure joy and beauty, deeply moved by the love she radiated.  She doesn't own a cell phone or a credit card or a car or a checking account. She was barefoot; we later wondered if she even owned a pair of shoes. We spent the rest of the afternoon wandering through those ancient ruins, wet from the weight of the Cambodian sun, smiling and singing All You Need is Love. It was one of the very best days of my life.  

Something to consider before you head off to the mall

My precious friend Heather of The Coterie turned me on to this wonderful sweater from Gap. Ah, the buttons. And the whispered gathers under the yoke and how they're juxtaposed against those contrasting sporty lines. The casual, tiny roll at the hem. The Audrey Hepburn shawl collar. The pouch pockets. I want to kiss the person who designed this sweater. I don't even need to own it--merely looking is nirvana. 

Think how much money I just saved. $49.95, plus tax, to be exact.  

The you already knew this skinny: Having and happiness do not necessarily go hand in hand.  (Just a loving reminder from an old grammy.) Have a good weekend!

Breakfast?

Yep, this is breakfast.  Add protein powder, apple and pomegranate juices, ice. Blend it.  Drink it.  You can unwrinkle your nose now - actually, its delicious. Tastes like a fruit smoothie. (I still haven't figured out why you can't taste the broccoli, spinach, tomatoes or carrots, but you can't.) I love my VitaMix!

Take a deep breath

Smoky Mountains, Photo by Elkhorn100

The World is Too Much With Us

The world is too much with us; late and soon,

Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers:

Little we see in Nature that is ours;

We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!

The Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;

The winds that will be howling at all hours,

And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;

For this, for everything, we are out of tune;

It moves us not. . . .  

                    -William Wordsworth

My beautiful friend, Mamie Webb, who died at the splendid age of 99, gifted me with the love of this poem (I'll give you Mamie soon, in another post-you'll love her!).  Try this trick: Chant Wordsworth's first two lines whenever you enter a mall. His wisdom will help you leave relatively unscathed, and thankfully burdened with no more than what you first intended to buy.  I credit my aversion to shopping to Wordsworth's pen, and my love of nature to Mamie.  Here's the Skinny: This weekend, instead of going to the mall, go for a walk outside.  The mountains, the beach, the park, your garden.  Shhh. Listen. They're calling to your hungry soul. 

Photo: Google Images, Nature 

Ok. I did promise. Here it is.

Oh, how this little tool is going to make you SA-mile.  It's called Jott  and here's the Skinny:  Jott takes your voice and converts it into emails, text messages, lists, appointments, reminders and get this: blog posts . . . and more.  Say you're driving down the 805 in heavy traffic and you remember that you forgot to tell your book club that you need to change tonight's club time from 7:00 to 8:00.  You simply use your hands-free cell phone to call Jott and with one easy little voice message, you send the entire club an email, or text message, or both!  Stay with me here, it gets better. See if this one rings a bell.  You just remembered that you want Young Son to add File Mom's Taxes to his chore list (hey, we can dream here). You call in a simple Jott to "Young Son's Chore List" and voila, when you get home, Young Son's updated list is waiting on your computer for you to print out and stick to the fridge.  I Jott myself reminders all the time, and Jott emails them right to me.  I Jott appointments from my cell directly onto my Google Calendar.  Just last week I was time-warped in Costco and Jott sent me a text reminder that the plumber was coming at 3:00 and I'd better get my little hiney home. (OK, it doesn't do the little hiney home part, and my hiney's not  actually little.) But wait!  There's more!  Jott is free.  FREE!   Think of the possibilities--To infinity and beyond!  Just click here and let the obsession begin.  You can thank me later.

Graphic from Jott.com