I wish I could decorate your door with crepe paper streamers and balloons.
And wake you in the morning with a do-nut birthday cake and candles
and a crazy birthday song
that I stayed up too late writing
(set to Beatles music, of course)
I wish I could touch your face and tell you how proud of you I am
and hug you and tell you how cool it is that you're taller than me
I wish we could dance around the kitchen together
(oh, I miss dancing with you, so much)
I wish we could go for a hike
or a late night walk in the snow
I wish for one of your phone calls to tell me about
the tiny frog you've got in your hand
or the run you just finished
or how much you love President Hinckley
or that you're back safe from your ocean paddle
(thanks so much for those 'I'm home safe' calls)
Today, I'm cherishing
the way you'd open my car door
the notes you always left for me to find
the way you always said, "I love you, Mama."
and the way your voicemails always started out,
"Hi Mama! It's your baby boy!"
I'm remembering your arm around my shoulder
and your smile
(oh, your smile)
and your text messages--
"11:11 Mom. Thinkin of you."
And your amazing hugs
your grateful heart
and the way you loved me so openly
Thank you, my son.
For all you were.
For all you are.
You're a pretty awesome guy, you know.
I feel humbled and so blessed
that you chose me to be your mom
Grateful that you knew I'd understand
that you had to leave-
that you had a greater work to do
that there were others who needed your love
your testimony of the Savior and His Atonement
and the gift of your understanding heart.
I am eternally blessed by the knowledge of
Where you are now
and What you're doing
and in Whose name you serve.
I do love you Gav.
Always did, no matter what
Always will, no matter where
Please feel my hand on your cheek
and hear the love in my heart when I say,
You're still making me proud, my buddy.
Happy Birthday, Gavin-San.
I love you.
Kiss your little nephew for me, will you?
And tell him how much I miss him--
miss both of you.
I love you both.
So very much.
Ooooooooooooo, I love you.
p.s. I know I'm a day early,
but, I wanted to make sure you get this first thing in the morning-
(I know it's not quite a do-nut cake, candles and streamers. I just
couldn't figure that one out.)